Emily's father had a heart attack after scolding her. Because no one sat down with the 10-year-old to explain her father's condition, she blamed herself for the attack and was convinced he would die.

"Family members often ignore the needs of young children with critically ill parents because they mistakenly believe that children can cope on their own," says Dr. Martha Craft-Rosenberg, professor at the University of Iowa College of Nursing.

During a parent's unexpected hospitalization, children experience severe emotional and physical stress. They must cope with bewildering changes, such as temporary moves, altered daily rituals or routines, loss of interaction with one or both parents, and increased household responsibilities, Craft-Rosenberg says.

Children of critically ill parents also deal with enormous uncertainty about their own futures. "They perceive an overpowering threat to the entire family, not just the sick parent," Craft-Rosenberg says. Children struggling to cope with a sick parent may exhibit signs of stress. A sudden drop in school grades or a shortened attention span at school could indicate a child is having trouble coping. He or she might act sullen and withdrawn, or extremely sad. The child may express concern about the health of other relatives and friends and might even question his or her own mortality.

Even if a child appears to be coping well, Craft-Rosenberg stresses that all children need attention during their parents' critical illnesses. "We tend to notice a child who demands attention through extreme behavior, but we forget about the one who seems fine. Both of these children deserve and need support," Craft-Rosenberg says.

Family members can help ease a child's anxiety through communication, Craft-Rosenberg says. "Take the time to explain as much as you can about the illness. Encourage the child to visit a parent in the hospital if he or she wants to. This openness will prevent him or her from misunderstanding the situation or imagining the worst."

During the illness, families need to stick closely to their normal routines. Schedules for homework, chores, and play time should be kept as regular as possible. "Normalcy provides a sense of security for children," Craft-Rosenberg says. "Adults should try not to put any extra burdens on the children."

For more information about how to help children of critically ill parents, talk to your health-care provider.